dating our kids

roger and i believe it is very important to have some one on one time with each child...no matter what size family. although we try to create a close knit family that is together most of the time we think this concept of "parent dating" is very important for a few reasons. we try to do this in a few different ways and reinforce certain things while we are out.

one way we do it i talked about in an earlier blog was birthdays. we spend time alone with the birthday child for their birthday movie and often times dinner.

each of our children has a piggy bank and when its full they get to spend a portion of it. this is another way we "date" our children. the child gets to pick mommy or daddy to take them out to spend the money. this provides so many teachable moments! most of the children will take turns. if they took mommy last time they wil take daddy the next. or vice versa. this also teaches our children to be smart shoppers. they are not allowed to spend their money on toys so they get very creative and look for good deals. it also teaches them genorosity. almost every time the children have gone out they have used part of their money to take mommy or daddy out to dinner or yogurt after the trip. we also try to enforce things like holding doors open for the girls if daddy takes them or having the boys hold the door open for mommy.

another way we sneak in dates are errands. for the most part we run our errands together as a family. but sometimes its evening, moms cooking dinner, some of the children are cranky or sleeping so daddy will run quickly to the store for milk or diapers. almost always he snags one or two of the kids and takes them with him. they just love this. what seems to us as a mundane chore is seen as a fun adventure with daddy to the child. with the weather so nice lately daddy has been riding his bike to the store with them. they really enjoy that.

if a certain child has a godparents birthday coming up or a special friends birthday party coming up we like to take only that child to pick out the present.

these "dates" provide teaching oppurtunites like i mentioned before and they also keep a good relationship going between parent and child. it gives the parent a good chance to catch up with that child. see how they are doing and feeling.

i am starting to sense we are going to need to be more purposeful with our older kids in taking them out for more one on one. i think its very important for daddys to do this with their girls. statistically girls with strong father/daughter relationships do better when it comes to their relationships with men. daddy is the first man in her life and hopefully the biggest influence. daddy is going to be the one to teach her what a gentlemen looks like.

on a funny note, i get just as excited, if not more about the kids piggy banks getting full :) i really enjoy that time with them.